Makers of Similac, Children’s Advil Team Up With CDC To Make Vaccines More Accessible

NEW YORK, N.Y. – The American pharmaceutical corporation Pfizer announced today that it has teamed up with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to launch a two pronged initiative that will make vaccines more accessible to children who need them while also providing educational tools to the public in order to spread awareness about the health benefits of vaccination.

Dr. Merrill Bobolit of the CDC spoke to reporters during a joint press conference, saying, “We’re seeing a rise in people, particularly parents, who, due to misinformation, whether it be online or from a health care professional, wrongly believe vaccinations are harmful to their children. Our goal is to change this perception. It’s important people realize vaccinations are not only a benefit to their child’s health but also to those around them.” The CDC has updated their website to include a section dedicated to educating the public on the truth about vaccines, complete with videos and a downloadable PowerPoint presentation for classroom use.

Meanwhile Pfizer is making it even easier for parents to vaccinate their children. Scientists working for the pharmaceutical company have developed a way to infuse their products with vaccines recommended by the CDC. “We believe in convenience,” company CEO David Sarif said during a recent shareholder video conference. “That’s why we’re saving you the hassle of taking time off from work and scheduling a doctor’s appointment just to get your child vaccinated. Now all the vaccines your children need are readily available in our over-the-counter products. From ibuprofen to allergy medicine, we’ve got you covered.”

Sarif explained that by taking products like Children’s Advil, even for the occasional fever, children will build up a permanent immunity to a wide range of illnesses. “We’re revolutionizing the way vaccines are administered,” he said.

Pfizer isn’t the only company taking this new approach. At least two other companies are taking steps to infuse their products as well, including Abott Diagnostics, the maker of Similac baby formula. “There’s no reason why we have to limit ourselves to infused medicine,” Sarif told shareholders. “We have to think big. By this time next year consumers could be buying crates of vaccinated bottled water.”

“It’s a moral issue,” Dr. Bobolit says. “It’s about saving lives.”

Pfizer says the vaccine infused products are set to hit stores nationwide on March 1st. Consumers will find familiarity in the products as Pfizer has not altered the packaging in any way. “All that’s changed is what’s inside,” Sarif says.

R. Hobbus J.D.

Investigative Journalist

R. Hobbus J.D. is an internationally acclaimed independent investigative journalist specializing in international politics, health, business, science, conflict resolution, history, geography, mathematics, social issues, feminism, space travel, civil rights, human rights... more

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