Obama, Key Democrats to Introduce Legislation Banning 30 Round Magazines in Video Games

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Obama met with democratic leaders today to finalize legislation that will effectively ban the use and depiction of assault weapons in American video games. The Obama Administration is set to add several amendments to HR 4783, a wide-ranging gun control bill, known as the Promoting Healthy Minds for Safer Communities Act.

The first proposed amendment aims to ban 30 round high-capacity magazines from violent video games such as the popular Call of Duty series. The law will limit “assault-style weapons” to a maximum magazine capacity of ten rounds. If passed, game production companies like Activision will be required under federal law to release patches for violent games already on the market. “By restricting the number of shots a user can fire, we are removing certain aspects of the attraction of committing virtual acts of violence. Essentially making war and violence less glamorous,” Senator Diane Feinstein told CSPAN.

Senator Feinstein is co-sponsoring the bill along with sixty-eight other congressmen, including thirteen Republicans. Feinstein says the aim of bill is to remove the glorification of killing from video games while also making it more difficult for individuals with mental health disorders to obtain them. Citing the Sandy Hook massacre, Feinstein said, “Violent video games are a gateway drug to the type of hardcore violence we continue to see across America.”

Under the new law, children under the age of 18, as well as adults with a history of mental illness will be required to pass the Rorschach Test, a psychological evaluation which must be conducted by a licensed clinical psychologist. Upon successful completion of the exam, which is covered under the Affordable Care Act, patients will receive a government issued voucher allowing them to purchase any game deemed “violent and hazardous to public wellbeing” by the government. A new voucher is required for every violent game purchase.

“Any individual who fails the Rorschach Test will not be allowed to retake it,” Senator Feinstein said. She continued,”Failure denies the applicant the ability to purchase these restricted games, while also placing them on a monitoring list set up by the Department of Health and Human Services in conjunction with the Department of Justice.”

The National Rifle Association issued a statement yesterday condemning the bill. NRA spokesman Roy MacNeil spoke to the media, saying, “The right to bear arms, whether interactive or authentic, is one afforded to Americans of all ages. The NRA will not stand by while any administration, present or future, attacks the God-given right of every American.”

When asked by this reporter to comment on the MacNeil’s statement, President Obama dismissed the NRA, saying, “The Second Amendment does not apply to video games.” The president added that should the bill fail to pass the Senate, he will not hesitate to use his executive power to complete the legislation, making it law.

R. Hobbus J.D.

Investigative Journalist

R. Hobbus J.D. is an internationally acclaimed independent investigative journalist specializing in international politics, health, business, science, conflict resolution, history, geography, mathematics, social issues, feminism, space travel, civil rights, human rights... more

14 Comments
    1. When the About page for the web site says the author “…has received numerous awards for his work including the prestigious Stephen Glass Distinction in Journalistic Integrity (2011)…” I think it’s a pretty clear sign not to take anything here seriously.

  1. After the Rorschach test thingy I figured it was satire. But then, don’t give those idiots any ideas.
    Maybe they should try banning “assault weapons” and 30 round magazines in movies. See if Hollywood would go for that. NOT!

  2. For those interested, there really was an HR 4783, Promoting Healthy Minds for Safer Communities Act of 2014. In the 113th Congress (the 114th is currently sitting). It was introduced 5/30/14, referred to the Subcommittee on Crime, Terrorism, Homeland Security, and Investigations, where it died.

    All else is satirical BS. When in doubt (did so few notice where this appeared?), do a web search.

  3. For those interested, there really was an HR 4783, Promoting Healthy Minds for Safer Communities Act of 2014. In the 113th Congress (the 114th is currently sitting). It was introduced 5/30/14, referred to o the Subcommittee on Crime, Terrorism, Homeland Security, and Investigations, where it died.

    All else is satirical BS. When in doubt (did so few notice where this appeared?), do a web search.

  4. Although I know this is satire, if such a law was enacted, couldn’t the developers insert a patch to the game such as “sleight of hand” allowing the instantaneous reload of ten round magazines. This would effectively allow them to create the same fire rate in the weapons.

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