Jesus Christ Returns to Earth For ‘Second Coming,’ Vows to Destroy ISIS

JACKSONVILLE, Fl. – After a two thousand-year absence, the Lord and Savior of humanity, Jesus Christ, has returned to earth. Jesus, who many believe to be the Son of God, was crucified in 30 A.D. under Pontius Pilate, then leader of the Roman Empire. Prior to his death, Jesus told acquaintances that he intended to one day return to Earth to “judge the living and the dead.”

Rabbi Jacob Schram, of the Beth Israel Messianic Synagogue in Jacksonville, Florida, met with Jesus early Sunday morning amId a crowd of worshipers and local media. Jesus performed several miracles, including curing a nine-year-old girl of autism, before leading a prayer service for the synagogue’s worshipers. When asked why he was visiting a synagogue rather than a church, Christ said he was “born and raised a Jew.”

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Susan Ross, who attends Beth Israel Messianic Synagogue regularly and was among the worshipers who met Jesus Christ, spoke with News 4 Jacksonville, saying, “I’m just ecstatic that he’s here! That we’re all here to witness history in the making.” Ross, a 47 year-old single mother, added that Christ looked very good for his age. “He’s a two thousand year-old man with the body of thirty-three year old.”

In an exclusive interview with CNN’s Anderson Cooper, Mr. Christ confirmed his return to Earth is in accordance with the prophecy, and added he’d visited briefly in 1894 but “didn’t tell anyone.” Cooper then asked Jesus a series of questions in an effort to dispel thousand-year old myths and rumors surrounding the Christian faith. On the subject of gay marriage, Jesus said, “I’m fine with it. My father is fine with it. In fact, Anderson, it’s not in the bible, but two of my Apostles, John and Matthew, were homosexuals.”

In response to a question regarding the Islamic State and growing concerns over the safety of Christians living in the Middle East, Jesus addressed ISIS directly, saying members of the Islamic State have the opportunity to be forgiven “simply by laying down your weapons and accepting me as your Lord and Savior.” However, Christ added his father is preparing to send an army of angels to eradicate evil from the planet.

Jesus Christ said his first order of business will be to judge the estimated 7.125 billion people currently alive on earth, a job which he says “shouldn’t take too long.” Christ told Anderson Cooper he’s not in a hurry to immediately judge the dead, saying, “They aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.”

R. Hobbus J.D.

Investigative Journalist

R. Hobbus J.D. is an internationally acclaimed independent investigative journalist specializing in international politics, health, business, science, conflict resolution, history, geography, mathematics, social issues, feminism, space travel, civil rights, human rights… more

10 Comments
  1. This is not scriptural, Not even close in no way do these accusations and statements line up with the word of God, Jesus never said He would periodically pay visits to the earth. This is ridiculous. Let me add this. At this time Jesus Loves ISIS just like he loves all Mankind. And Jesus would forgive ISIS and grant them salvation thee same as if they were Jewish or Christian. As I stated Jesus loves all mankind, Jesus gave His life so that all mankind could receive forgiveness and be in right standing with God

  2. Jesus said MANY will come in his name. When someone says there he is don’t believe it. He told how he will return. This is not acceptable to his Word!

  3. I’d just like to pass on another way to help spread the gospel and it’s simply this:-

    Include a link to an online gospel tract (e.g. http://www.freecartoontract.com/animation) as part of your email signature.

    An email signature is a piece of customizable HTML or text that most email applications will allow you to add to all your outgoing emails. For example, it commonly contains name and contact details – but it could also (of course) contain a link to a gospel tract.

    For example, it might say something like, “p.s. you might like this gospel cartoon …” or “p.s. have you seen this?”.

  4. || Matt. 24, people. Don’t believe this hog’s filth! Is he possessed(needing the Lord’s intervention to rid him of the evil that’s within) or insane(needing to be healed)? Maybe God converted a narcissistic personality into reprobation. Maybe he sold his soul to the devil. Regardless of what may be going on with him, believers have to cling to Matt. 24. Ever been around old mud and hog dung to sense what it smells like. This development(like Koresh–was a freshman in HS) is hog filth!

  5. Jesus would never be apart of any religion. Even his own. Jesus walks with the meek and lives in darkness not in light. Till the day of awareness. If he was Christ he also would be god. And his power would be so much stronger. These want a be Christ fools are going too be exposed and judged and the day is near. Remember Christ is walking on earth but will never be a apart of any healing quite yet. Judgement day will be clear and very swift. You will know when the day is and I hope those who say they are the real Jesus Christ be ready too be found and exposed and dealt with.

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