JANESVILLE, Wi. – GOP presidential front-runner and billionaire entrepreneur Donald Trump announced on Tuesday that if elected in November, he intends to appoint his top foreign policy adviser, Joseph Schmitz, to head his soon-to-be-created national deportation force. “Joseph’s an amazing guy, okay?” Trump told supporters during a campaign stop in Wisconsin Tuesday. “He’s going to help make America great again.”
A former executive with the now-defunct private security firm Blackwater Worldwide, the fifty-nine year-old navy veteran has an extensive background in military operations. “This is a guy who knows how to identify and neutralize the bad guys,” Trump declared. “Whether they’re illegals or Muslims, there’s no doubt in my mind he’s the guy who’ll find ’em and deal with ’em.”
Following an extended standing ovation, Trump laid out the specifics for his plan to establish a national deportation force at the start of his presidency. “We’re going to be huge, ladies and gentlemen,” Trump promised. “This force is going to be huge and it’s going to report directly to me. We’re not going to be tied down by congressional oversight; we’re going to have one goal: to track these people down and get them out of our country by any means necessary.”
Trump said he intends to muster a force of five hundred thousand ‘deportation agents’ by mid February of 2017. “We’re talking about a highly trained and well-equipped paramilitary unit operating independently of local and federal law enforcement,” Trump explained. “They’ll have military-style vehicles and weapons, they’ll have aircraft, they’ll have whatever they need to get the job done.”
The former reality TV star said the deportation force will even sport their very own custom-made uniforms. “I’ve got a guy – he does my suits and he’s very, very good at it – but he’s designing a uniform specifically for this unit. It’s a specialized outfit and it’s modeled after – you may have seen them – these Bolivian military police uniforms. They’re very distinct.”
As far as who’s eligible to enlist in the deportation force, Mr. Trump declared on Tuesday that anyone can sign up “as long as they are American.” The GOP front-runner later clarified that enlistment is restricted to able-bodied American men between the age of eighteen and thirty-five. “This is not a job for women but I promise you we’ll have other opportunities down the line,” Trump pledged.
With the help of Joseph Schmitz, Mr. Trump said he hopes to deploy his deportation force to cities and towns throughout the United States by next spring. “You’re going to see these brave Americans in your neighborhoods and in your towns,” Trump promised. “They’re going to root out these illegal immigrants and Islamic extremists who are sneaking into this country and – with your support – they’re going to help make America great again.”