Portland’s City Council Votes to Give Furries the Right to Defecate, Mate in Dog Parks

PORTLAND, Or. – Portland’s city council on Wednesday voted 3 to 1 in favor of the Equal Use Act, a new resolution granting individuals who identify as furries the same rights afforded to dogs and their respective owners who frequent popular off-leash areas and dog parks in the greater Portland area.

The decision comes on the heels of a four-day sit-in organized by PDX Furs, a regional furry community based in the Portland metro area, which staged the protest at Portland’s city council offices on Milwaukie Avenue last weekend. “This is a huge victory,” said Bo Kirkman. “Not just for furries here in Portland but furries living all across the United States.”

Bo, a former kindergarten teacher and self-described furry rights advocate, told the Portland Tribune that he identifies as a dog. “It’s one thing to say you can’t bring your cat or your ferret or whatever to the off-leash areas because obviously they’re not dogs. But if I want to go to the park and play with my owner, well as a canine, that should be my right.”

Now, thanks to the City of Portland, Bo and his fellow furries can take advantage of the city’s designated off-leash areas. “Provided they respect and adhere to the posted rules and regulations at our city parks,” said Public Affairs commissioner Dan Saltzman who sits on the city council and voted in favor of the resolution.

According to the City of Portland’s official website, dog park visitors are expected to pick up and dispose of their pet’s waste and are advised to leave sick animals at home. “In an effort to prevent the spread of disease, we ask that owners refrain from allowing their dogs – or furries – drink from standing water,” Saltzman said.

However, not everyone is celebrating the new resolution.. “I think it’s rediculous,” said council-member Amanda Fritz who sits on the Portland Parks Board and voted against the proposal. “We’re allowing people in costumes to frolic about and fornicate to their heart’s content in our public parks.”

Mrs. Fritz may be alone in her sentiments. Portland mayor Charlie Hales told the Daily Journal of Commerce that the Equal Use Act is synonymous with Portland’s unofficial slogan. “Keep Portland weird,” quoted Mayor Hales before adding, “That is precisely what we intend to do.”

R. Hobbus J.D.

Investigative Journalist

R. Hobbus J.D. is an internationally acclaimed independent investigative journalist specializing in international politics, health, business, science, conflict resolution, history, geography, mathematics, social issues, feminism, space travel, civil rights, human rights… more

49 Comments
  1. Just need to make sure they’re all registered with city hall, up to date on all their shots, and know they will be put down if they bite anyone… Otherwise, okay.

  2. Penelope, how can you see that? “Real news” is right there in the name of the website, it can’t possibly be fake.

  3. Here are the real questions, ones that require more than just 8th grade biology, Freudian psychology, and armchair constitutional law, were they born that way? Or, did they just choose to be that way for the fun of it? Are furries entitled to protected class status constitutionally? And, since it is incumbent upon all decent and good people to protect the innocence of our little kittens and big cats, should we enact discriminatory laws to keep them out of our kitten’s bathrooms?

  4. You know you’re gonna have to let all people, like the people inside those costumes, screw and poop in city parks pretty soon, right? It’s not for me, but I would hope these “new rights” aren’t limited to those with thousands in disposable income to build animal costumes, and ample time off to rally for their niche interests.

  5. “Keep Portland Weird?” More like “Keep Portland Disgusting”. They already allow run down campers and motor homes to sit on the side of the road, let people live in them, and toss their shit (yes, actual shit) outside, and garbage until it’s a huge 10ft tall pile, then they leave and destroy another area. It’s horrible. I get that you might be homeless, but if you’re going to live for free somewhere, why not pick up after yourself? Now this stupid “furries” thing, Portland council is a joke!

    1. Jenny, this is site is all (not very good) satire and the rest of us are wondering if you might not be kind of an idiot.

  6. This is exactly why I have no problem with Oregon, California, and Washington leaving the Us to form their own country or join any other, as long as we can send them any Liberal who wants this BS, and take our conservatives out as we build the wall to keep the crazies at bay.

  7. Then where r the wrights for other ppl who identify as a cat, ferret, or any other creature?? Then u have the fay folks who identify as vampires, werewolves, elf, witches ect, what about their wrights?? If u r going to give it to 1 Community then u have to give it to all.

  8. What happened to common sense? Grew up in Portland, and lived there until I was 39. Why grown adults are allowed to mate and defecate in Public is uncivilized and ridiculous.

  9. Does that mean they will be legally allowed to have sex with actual dogs in the park too?

    Portland in not run by just weirdos, but idiots too.

    Did they not think what that ruling will lead to in the future?

  10. I was not able to verify this report on their agenda for Wednesday, March 22nd. No mention of any resolution passed regarding furries was posted….or about an amended Equal Use Act was listed on the PDF of the City Council Agenda.

  11. This would be weird if all they did was romp and play but they are not built like dogs so therefor the sex and taking a crap in public is wrong on so many levels and have they had their shots are they lic. if their dogs and they’re not breeders then they need to be spaied and neutered! Just saying it’s a dogs life. Lived in Portland and loved the colors and vibrant people. But this has gone over the line and takes away from the artists and musicians and individuals that love to dance as they walk.

  12. It’s only a matter of time before the sex workers start using the dog parks to ply their trade. Make sure they pickup thier used condoms. Don’t want your doggy to eat thoes.

  13. West coast is full of nuts and I really think that Public fornication is to demonstrative. However they should not wear costumes so that when people see them they will know who to avoid in the future.

  14. Wait…guy identifies as a dog? That’s a talking dog! Holy shit guys, a talking dog!

    Wait, no, it’s just a pervert. Hope he’s not teavhing my kids while taking a dump in your park Ermurica.

  15. Wait…guy identifies as a dog? That’s a talking dog! Holy shit guys, a talking dog!

    Wait, no, it’s just a psycho pervert.

  16. Fake news. This guy/girl needs to be fired and this article needs to be taken down. I’m a furry myself and this type of thing is down right embarrassing for me and the fandom I’m in. Also, this type of thing makes us look bad to the rest of society. A joke like this offends many people who are good and whole hearted. It’s already bad enough that CSI mads us look like sadistic perverts and murderers, which isn’t true. Please listen to a person that is within the fandom and knows what the people are really like and stop the hate created by this sickening article. Thank you

  17. This is ridiculous, I swear it’s a mental disorder. Youd think people wouldn’t support this obscene and ridiculous, let alone inappropriate, type of action. I would never want to raise my children in an area like that where the laws of not just reality but common sense, and decency are just thrown out the window.

    The furry population? what people do in their own personal lives and their own private areas of establishment is one thing, but to allow this out in the open? It’s not just weird, it’s not just immoral or disgusting, it’s horrendous.

    Would you in your own home go to a porn site and have videos of people fornicating at will and acting as animals, to even the point of shitting randomly, playing 24 hours a day and you can’t shit the window off, while your family and children walk by or use the computer? No? Well go figure.

    Also, on another note, how far will this go now? Will the so called “rights” of furries be pushed even further to allow them to just littterally walk up and shit in your yard? Or for them to “mate'” outside your window?

    This is not where I would want to raise my children or even visit now. It’s not just weird it’s disgusting and someone needs to rehabilitate these people because apparently something Is wrong with them

    1. I think the main “mental disorder” involved here is people who can’t tell when they’re on a fake news site and actually get really indignant and wound up over things that any idiot could tell aren’t really happening.

      Get help, Curtis. Like, maybe an elementary reading skills class?

  18. So using this logic someone can declare that they’re a donkey furry and attack the dog furries since that is the animals natural instinct? Just trying to understand the limits of insanity here.

  19. Dirt fucks honestly. I know this comment won’t go up because you support dirt fucks like this. Pedophilic dirt bags.

    1. One, this comment did go up, and two, all it did was prove you don’t know satire when you see it. None of this is real. Go back to yelling at the people on TV, honey.

  20. Great, another fake fucking article at the expense of furries. Your site is trash if you’re writing fake articles about furries. As if they don’t already get smeared enough by sensationalist media.

    I know a lot of furries who are good and harmless people. This shit is not funny.

  21. Gee Portland,

    Please tell.
    Just “how far down the rabbit hole” are you going to go?

    Ps. That’s a rhetorical question.
    Intelligent people worldwide already know the answer.

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