VATICAN CITY – Newly disclosed portions of some of the earliest known biblical texts pertaining to the Old Testament, which were placed under lock and key more than a millennium ago by Pope Stephen IV, suggest that Adam and Eve were not the first humans on earth but instead the result of several attempts by God to create the perfect human being in his image.
“The texts, which have been scrubbed from the third chapter of Genesis, appear in both the Codex Vaticanus and the Dead Sea Scrolls and describe the creation of several abominations prior to Adam and Eve,” explained Father Jaun Pedro Pizzarro, who has worked to maintain the Vatican Secret Archives for nearly fifty years. “The abominations are described as asymmetrical humans,” Father Pizzarro continued. “Where one has three arms and one leg, another is completely headless with eyes protruding from its shoulders.”
According to the ancient texts, upon seeing his abominations, God tore a hole in the earth and cast them one by one into the fires below. “The fact of the matter is that this had to be kept secret – had to be erased from all official accounts – because what it means is that God is capable of mistakes. He is not – as we have been taught – infallible,” Father Pizzarro said.
Pizzarro was first made aware of the texts’ existence in 1978 during a late night conversation with longtime friend and mentor Bishop Vincenzo Cristelli. “He confided in me,” recalled Father Pizzarro. “He told me he had found something big and he was going to expose the Church.” Eight years later, on January 8, 1986, the bishop set out to do just that. Hours before a scheduled meeting with a reporter from the Italian newspaper La Repubblica, Bishop Cristelli’s bullet-ridden body was found floating in the Tiber River.
Years later, Father Pizzarro is picking up where his friend left off. Since embarking on his crusade to expose the truth, the seventy-one year-old priest has survived three assassination attempts including a failed car bombing in Morocco; attacks which he believes were carried out by members of the Pontifical Swiss Guard, Vatican City’s de facto military force. “His Holiness will stop at nothing to prevent this information from getting out,” warned Father Pizzarro. “I am fortunate that God is on my side.”
Father Pizzarro is expected to arrive in the United Kingdom this week where he intends to hand-deliver scanned copies of the ancient texts to a handful of international news organizations. Pizzarro’s arrival in the U.K. is timed to coincide with the Pope’s visit to Sweden. Pope Francis will travel to the Scandinavian country on Monday as part of a two-day trip celebrating the 500th anniversary of Protestant Reformation.