KINGSLAND, Ga. – One person is dead after an eighteen-wheeler carrying more than eleven tons of thoughts and prayers bound for hurricane-ravaged Texas struck a bridge abutment along Interstate 95 in southern Georgia and subsequently exploded in a massive fireball, sending up a plume of thick black smoke visible up to five hundred miles away.
While the cause of Sunday’s catastrophic single-vehicle accident is still under investigation, Texas officials are calling the loss of more than forty-one million individual thoughts and prayers a major setback for relief efforts in southeast Texas. “This is a tragedy of epic proportions. The good people of Texas were in desperate need of those prayers,” spokesperson Chris Gillette of the Texas Division of Emergency Management told KTRK Houston, adding, “I fear we cannot get by on volunteer efforts and government assistance alone.”
Despite being the product of good intentions, thoughts and prayers – which weigh less than air – are highly combustible and must be transported in secure temperature-controlled containers, usually under armed escort. “Thoughts and prayers have the potential to become extremely volatile,” Dr. Wendy Bradley, an associate professor of chemistry at Liberty University, told Real News Right Now. “Under the right conditions, they can generate the destructive power of a low-yield atomic bomb,” Dr. Bradley explained.
“In this case, we were given very little notice regarding the need for thoughts and prayers in Texas,” said White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders in response to questions about why Sunday’s shipment was not given a military escort – particularly after claims from the White House that “a prominent portion” of the precious cargo consisted of thoughts and prayers from evangelical leaders, members of Congress, and even President Donald J. Trump himself.
The tragic loss of millions of thoughts and prayers for those affected by the disastrous Category 4 hurricane came as Americans throughout the United States paused on Sunday to take part in a National Day of Prayer for the Victims of Hurricane Harvey and for our National Response and Recovery Efforts, a day of reflection proclaimed on September 1st by President Trump.