ARLINGTON, Va. – Police in Arlington, Virginia, are looking into how a rogue stick of deodorant – first discovered in June at a bus stop across from the Clarendon Metro – ended up at the center of a grisly triple murder in South Arlington last weekend.
“We can confirm that this is the same stick of deodorant which was spotted in the vicinity of the Clarendon Metro plaza last summer,” a spokesperson for the Arlington County Police Department announced on Tuesday. Citing an ongoing investigation, authorities declined to comment on the exact nature of the killings but said traces of Old Spice High Endurance Deodorant had been applied “in a violent manner” to the face and torso of all three victims.
“It was certainly the freshest smelling crime scene I’ve encountered in all my years on the force,” said Arlington County Police Sergeant Nicholas Brody. The twenty-three year law enforcement veteran told ARLNow.com that he was among several first-responders who arrived on the scene following multiple reports of an “overwhelming citrus and clove smell” emanating from the residence where the bodies were later discovered.
“Frankly, I’m not the least bit surprised that something of this nature happened in our community,” charged forty-eight year-old Saul Berenson of Clarendon. “The warning signs were there,” the self-described local politician and community activist told Real News Right Now. “This so-called stick of deodorant was seen squatting at the Clarendon Metro for weeks; it made the local news. Everyone knew about it, they were all talking about it. The point is the authorities were well aware and they did nothing. Zilch.”
Arlington County police are seeking the public’s assistance with the investigation and have offered a reward of up to $1,000 for information regarding the origins of the now-infamous Old Spice High Endurance Deodorant stick.