Biker Gangs Converge on Nation’s Capital for Massive Memorial Day Turf War

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Hundreds of thousands of heavily armed bikers are set to converge on the nation’s capital this weekend to participate in an end-all turf war on the National Mall. The event is scheduled to coincide with the National Memorial Day Parade which begins at 2 p.m. on Monday, May 25th.

U.S. Capitol Police say there will be an estimated two-hundred thousand guns, knives, billy clubs, pipes, boxcutters, chains, bats, hand grenades and axes in the District this weekend. With such a high concentration of hardened criminals in the nation’s capital, police say any attempts to prevent an altercation will be futile. “Technically, they’re exercising their right to assemble,” Captain Rory Daniels told CNN. Captain Daniels said Capitol police and local law enforcement will create a buffer zone around the National Mall separating the biker gangs from Memorial Day celebrations. “This way everyone is happy,” Daniels said.

Jade Anderson told CNN’s Don Lemon that her husband, who is a member of the Bandidos motorcycle club, plans to avenge the deaths of his “brothers” who were killed outside the Twin Peaks restaurant in Waco, Texas this week with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire and a hydraulic nail gun. Anderson described her husband as a loving father who is “definitely not a criminal,” and blamed the media for the negative portrayal of motorcycle organizations.

The president of the notorious Hells Angels Motorcycle Club, Bobby “The Fist” Mitchell, spoke with this reporter by phone, saying he is leading a procession of over twenty-three hundred of his roughest and toughest members to Washington to settle a longstanding blood feud with the Bandidos. Mitchell said he plans to eviscerate his rivals and “fill the Reflecting Pool with their blood” before climbing the steps of the Lincoln Memorial to declare victory.

In addition to the Bandidos and Hells Angels, a few of the more notable biker gangs making an appearance in Washington this weekend include the Monglols, the Pagans, the Pennsylvania Warlocks, the Scimitars, and the infamous Sons of Silence. Last but not least are the Cossacks, one of the more violent gangs involved in the bloody shootout that left nine bikers dead and dozens more injured outside a sports bar in Waco, Texas last Sunday.

R. Hobbus J.D.

Investigative Journalist

R. Hobbus J.D. is an internationally acclaimed independent investigative journalist specializing in international politics, health, business, science, conflict resolution, history, geography, mathematics, social issues, feminism, space travel, civil rights, human rights... more

  1. Wow… heavily armed and wanting to start trouble? Waco was just an appetizer for you guys? Did you ever think that bikers carry also for protection? You guys are just adding to the problem by starting rumors and talking shit. Just because someone rides a motorcycle doesn’t mean they are bad people. You guys are just feeding the stereotype. Is this liberal/Democrat run?

  2. This news page full of fucking shit….100 percent of shit said here has been fucking wrong…….you fucking ignorant retards….

  3. Here is their other story they are making fun of all the people who repost these crazy stories and never check them out. ”
    ISIS Vows to Unleash More Tornadoes Across Midwestern U.S.

    SYRIA – In an ominous warning issued online today, Abu Ibrahim Al Ameriki, an American associated with the Islamic State, threatened to unleash another round of devastating tornadoes on America’s heartland. Following a night of destruction across portions of the Central and Southern plains, at least twelve people were injured in Oklahoma City alone but so far no deaths have been reported.

    A U.S. intelligence official, speaking on condition of anonymity, told the Washington Post that ISIS is in possession of a “weather machine” similar to the one President Obama used to create the blizzard that crippled Boston and parts of the Northeast last winter. “We currently have assets on the ground in Syria and Iraq who are trying to determine the location of the [weather machine],” the official said, adding that the CIA is working in conjunction with foreign intelligence agencies to prevent another attack.

    While the Islamic State’s “weather machine” is not nearly as advanced as the one President Obama keeps in a secure vault at Camp David, intelligence officials fear it could trigger an F5 tornado or, possibly, as high as an 8.2 magnitude earthquake if operated by someone with advanced knowledge of its systems. “There are several high ranking members within the Islamic State who hold engineering degrees and the like, who could have access to the [weather machine],” the official told the Washington Post. “The likelihood of that happening, we hope, is very slim but it could trigger a catastrophic event.”

    Wednesday’s disastrous tornadoes and widespread flooding are the latest in a span of attacks carried out by the Islamic State against America and its interests. On Tuesday ISIS claimed responsibility for a series of traffic accidents in downtown Los Angeles which it asserted was a follow-up to an attack on a Prophet Muhammad cartoon contest in Garland, Texas where both shooters were killed by police.

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