Fox News Celebrates Demise of Al Qaeda as ISIS Obliterates Middle East

NEW YORK, Ny. – Anchors on the show ‘Happening Now,’ a daytime two hour-long segment which airs on the Fox News Channel, celebrated the “near collapse” of al Qaeda this morning. While male anchor Jon Scott uncorked a bottle of champagne live on air, co-host Jenna Lee credited the fall of al Qaeda, in part, to the actions of former two-term president and amateur painter George W. Bush.

Al Qaeda, perhaps best known for their successful attacks in New York and Washington on September 11, 2001, as well as becoming the main catalyst for the erosion of American civil liberties, was, up until May 2, 2011, led by Osama bin Laden. Fox News anchor Jenna Lee described bin Laden as a man “who would’ve been better suited for the Saudi NBA if it weren’t for the onset of kidney failure.”

According to a report released by The Guardian and paraphrased by Fox News, ISIS is partially to thank for the fall of al Qaeda. After pouring himself and co-host Jenna Lee a second glass of champagne, Scott explained to Fox News viewers in layman’s terms that al Qaeda is losing a significant amount of recruits and money to the Islamic State. Additionally ISIS fighters have reportedly beheaded ten Taliban fighters in Afghanistan while more are being killed in Libya. Both Scott and Lee held their champagne glasses up for the camera, presumably in a toast to the Islamic State, before a smiling Scott said, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

Later on the show, self-described women’s rights champion and presidential candidate Mike Huckabee made a guest appearance to discuss the ever-growing role of women in the Islamic State. “It is my belief that women should play a supportive role, if any, in the formation of the Islamic State,” the former Governor of Arkansas said. Mr. Huckabee added that he holds a strong “traditional” view of women and doesn’t believe they should be subjected to combat, rather they should be “treated with respect and dignity.”

In May, leading GOP congressmen criticized the current ISIS strategy, with many in the Republican party saying the Islamic State needed to “kill more children.” However, in light of new information revealed in The Guardian’s report, a number of Republicans, including Mike Huckabee, are applaudIng ISIS for “finally falling in line with American foreign policy.”

R. Hobbus J.D.

Investigative Journalist

R. Hobbus J.D. is an internationally acclaimed independent investigative journalist specializing in international politics, health, business, science, conflict resolution, history, geography, mathematics, social issues, feminism, space travel, civil rights, human rights... more

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