Kanye: Taylor Swift Sent ‘Armed Commandos’ to My House

LOS ANGELES, Ca. – Kanye West and Taylor Swift are at it again. The latest spat between the two comes on the heels of last Thursday’s scuffle, which began during the launch party for his latest album, The Life of Pablo, when Kanye dropped a verse from the track “Famous,” in which he insinuates Taylor Swift ought to have sex with him because he made her famous.

As expected, Ms. Swift did not take kindly to being name-dropped.  She promptly issued a strongly worded statement through her publicist condemning Mr. West’s actions and accusing him of promoting misogyny.  Later, Swift’s brother uploaded a video to Instagram that depicted him throwing a pair of Yeezeys -a brand of designer shoes created by Mr. West, into a garbage bin.

As if that weren’t enough, shortly after 4 p.m. Saturday evening -according to West and the Los Angeles Police Department, two teams of twelve men wearing “commando gear” laid siege to the West-Kardashian compound. The first team arrived mere seconds before the other and rappelled from a helicopter onto the roof of Kanye and Kim’s $20 million mansion. Meanwhile the second team crashed through the complex’s wrought-iron gates aboard two heavily armored black Chevy Tahoes.

Security footage obtained by TMZ shows the commandos smashing the second-story plate-glass windows before hurling stun grenades and tear gas into the West-Kardashian residence. Meanwhile, Kanye, who was reportedly holed up in his lavish master bedroom engaged in a three-way Skype session with Kim and Rob Kardashian, incorrectly believed the commandos were affiliated with BET. “They’re here for my Humanitarian Award!” A clearly flustered Kanye is said to have told Rob, having to shout in order to make himself heard amid the sounds of incoming machine gun fire.

It was then, according to the Grammy-winning rapper, that heavily armed gunmen used a battering ram to break down the ornate oak doors leading into his sprawling sleeping quarters. Seconds later, Kanye told TMZ, he was “pistol-whipped in the face” and sent flailing backwards into his $175,000 diamond-encrusted California King bed. Meanwhile, his masked assailants hovered over him -some pointing guns in his face. One of them, whom Kanye described as being particularly menacing, thrust a satellite phone into the rapper’s quivering hands.

Kanye admitted he was “shocked” to hear none of than Taylor Swift on the other end of the satphone. “She said, ‘Kanye, enough is enough!’ And she hung up,” recalled West. “I was like, ‘Who the f*** this b**** think she is?'” However, despite extensive damage to his home -including the loss of Kanye’s three-hundred year-old petrified pineapple, a priceless heirloom passed down through six generations of Wests, the rapper said he has no intention of filing charges against Ms. Swift.

R. Hobbus J.D.

Investigative Journalist

R. Hobbus J.D. is an internationally acclaimed independent investigative journalist specializing in international politics, health, business, science, conflict resolution, history, geography, mathematics, social issues, feminism, space travel, civil rights, human rights... more

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