BONDURANT, Wy. – A pack of wolves who viciously slaughtered nineteen elk in what wildlife officials have referred to as a ‘sport killing,” may have been high on meth, John Lundt, a spokesperson for the Wyoming Game and Fish Department, said during a joint press conference with the Sublette County Sheriff’s Office Sunday morning.
“Our deputies – acting on an unrelated tip – discovered the remnants of an amateur outdoor drug lab on the outskirts of Bondurant last night,” Sublette County Sheriff Brent Andrews told reporters. “Based on evidence collected at the scene, we believe the apparatus was designed to produce large quantities of methamphetamine.” However, it wasn’t until after authorities located a makeshift security camera that had been dangling from a low-hanging tree branch, that they realized the lab had been ransacked by wolves rather than a rival drug gang.
“By our estimate the wolves had enough junk in their systems to kill a busload of seasoned tweakers,” Sheriff Andrews stated. “We ought to be thankful they found the elk instead of a group of hikers; you want to talk about a PR nightmare.” Both Andrews and Lundt agreed the wolves likely had no concept of reality when they encountered the herd and presumably believed it was the elk who were in fact the real threat.
“Meth’s one helluva drug,” admitted Sheriff Andrews before clarifying that he was not speaking from personal experience. “I’ve seen it do crazy things to people,” he later said.
“Unimaginable things,” Mr. Lundt added.
Despite clear evidence showing the wolves under the influence of narcotics, authorities say little can be done regarding the matter. “Wolves are federally protected by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service,” Mr. Lundt explained. “So even though meth played a prominent role in these savage killings, the federal government is committed to ensuring the wolves’ survival.”
In 2014, a federal judge overturned a 2012 decision to remove wolves from the endangered species list, thus remanding them to federal control.