WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an effort to provide a more inclusive experience for worshipers, Catholic churches throughout the United States will undergo a drastic transformation this summer as they move to offer a more realistic and culturally appropriate version of Jesus than the historically European depiction embraced by the Church.
The decision by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops to portray Jesus as a brown-skinned Middle Eastern man clad in sandals and an off-white tunic comes on the heels of nationwide movement led by the American Leadership Council of Progressive Christian Womyn to eradicate perceptions of white privilege from the Christian faith.
“For far too long we have been taught that whiteness is a prerequisite for holiness,” the group’s co-founder, Kathryn Lockhart, told Real News Right Now. While adamant that she was in no way discrediting the teachings and philosophy of Jesus of Nazareth, Ms. Lockhart argued that Christ “only became the Son of God by inheriting daddy’s power.”
Robert Langdon, a professor of Art History and Symbology at Harvard University called the decision by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops “a little silly,” but acknowledged that white privilege likely played a prominent role in the establishment of Christianity as a global religion. “When you have a situation where a white man living in the Middle East in 27 A.D. spontaneously launches a successful two-thousand-year-old religion, it raises a lot of questions.”
With thousands of souls put to death under Pontius Pilate, experts say it stands to reason that Jesus Christ – the only Caucasian man in all of Palestine who was not a Roman citizen – received special treatment and favors which, unlike countless other condemned Palestinian men and women, allowed him to miraculously rise from the dead and helped facilitate his speedy ascension into heaven.