Newlywed Couple’s Camping Trip Turns into Scene From Horror Movie

LEXINGTON, Va. – When David and Kristen Kemp embarked on a long-awaited post-wedding camping trip in Virginia’s tranquil Blue Ridge mountains last summer, the thirty-something year-old couple never imagined they would end up spending their honeymoon as targets of a maniacal family of hatchet-wielding psychopaths.

But that’s exactly what happened when the pair were abducted from their tent in the dead of night and held against their will in a rusted out Windstream camper where they were tortured and later dismembered by a disgruntled slaughterhouse supervisor known only to locals as The Tree.

Thirty-one year-old David Kemp, who was burned repeatedly with a welding torch and locked in a dog crate over a period of eight days, described the harrowing experience in an exclusive interview with People Magazine. “I was just beside myself,” the recent University of Virginia graduate admitted. “I mean one minute we’re gathering wood for a fire and the next thing I know, M. Night Shyamalan walks into our camp and asks if we want to be extras in his movie.”

“Of course I had to agree to it,” David’s stunningly beautiful new wife, Kristen, told People Magazine. Mrs. Kemp, a seventh grade social studies teacher and die-hard Joaquin Phoenix fan, said she and her husband have been “Shyamalan junkies” ever since going to see Split (2016) on their first date. “It was love at first sight,” Kristen said, laughing. “David will disagree with me on this but I have to say, The Happening was easily M. Night’s best movie.”

When asked, David – who adamantly disagreed with his wife’s assessment – said After Earth (2013) was his favorite M. Night Shyamalan movie. “Jaden Smith’s portrayal of Kitai Raige was one of the most moving performances I’ve seen to date,” said David, who later admitted he’s followed Jaden Smith’s career since he first appeared in the music video for Will Smith’s Black Suits Comin’ (Nod Ya Head) at the age of four.

A spokesperson for M. Night Shyamalan’s production company, Blinding Edge Pictures, told Real News Right Now that Mr. and Mrs. Kemp received “a fair wage” to appear as a pair of doomed hikers in the upcoming psychological thriller. Starring Joaquin Phoenix and Jared Leto, Trees is the latest addition to M. Night Shyamalan’s ever-growing list of blockbuster films. Trees is tentatively scheduled for release in the fall of 2018.

R. Hobbus J.D.

Investigative Journalist

R. Hobbus J.D. is an internationally acclaimed independent investigative journalist specializing in international politics, health, business, science, conflict resolution, history, geography, mathematics, social issues, feminism, space travel, civil rights, human rights... more

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