President Trump Orders the Execution of Five Turkeys Pardoned by Obama

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In another sweeping move aimed at undoing the perceived damage done by the Obama administration, President Donald J. Trump signed an executive order on Tuesday directing the Department of Justice to revoke all sixteen Thanksgiving Day turkey pardons issued by the former president during his eight years in office.

“After reviewing the decisions made by the previous administration, President Trump has determined that a number of turkey pardons issued by Barack Obama were done so in a manner that was both deceitful and hazardous to the American people,” White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced on Tuesday. “This morning, the president once again used his executive powers to see to it that justice is served and that the surviving creatures will be destroyed.”

Spicer said very little is known about the true origins of the sixteen turkeys or why they were specifically singled out by former President Barack Obama. “There are a lot of obvious questions we just don’t have the answers to. Were they connected to radical Islamic terrorism? Black Lives Matter extremists? We can’t be sure,” he said. “All we know is they were sentenced to death and Obama took it upon himself to meddle in the independent judicial process.”

Of the sixteen turkeys pardoned by Obama, all but five are deceased. “These birds, despite their deaths, will have their pardons revoked posthumously during a ceremony in the Rose Garden,” Secretary Spicer explained. The remaining birds - Tater, Tot, Abe, Honest, and Cheese - are scheduled to be remanded into federal custody on Friday before they are turned over to officials from the Federal Bureau of Prisons who are under orders to execute the turkeys by firing squad.

The annual Thanksgiving Day turkey pardon dates back to 1863 when President Abraham Lincoln first granted clemency to his son’s beloved pet turkey which the First Family had intended to feast on for Thanksgiving dinner.

R. Hobbus J.D.

Investigative Journalist

R. Hobbus J.D. is an internationally acclaimed independent investigative journalist specializing in international politics, health, business, science, conflict resolution, history, geography, mathematics, social issues, feminism, space travel, civil rights, human rights... more

    1. This is a ridiculous practice to begin with. They just get another turkey. What does it cost us tax payers to take care of the pardoned turkeys? One question- why didn’t trump give these turkeys to families who need some meat on their table?

      1. Agree with this ridiculous practice. A turkey is a turkey and agree tgat this is a waste of taxpayers money. Granted, it may not be muxh for the upkeep, but a very foolish act, and thirdly,these were not donated, because the older tge turkey, the tougher the meat and not as tasty. I also think it is foolish to waste bullets by firing squad. Donate the turkeys to a zoo th feed the animals.

          1. It sounds like satire, but it doesn’t state in a prominent place that it’s satire…

            Thank you for confirming this important info!!

        1. Uhhh. You appear to be taking seriously an article which suggested that these turkeys may be connected to radical Islamist terrorists.

          1. Lol, well a lot of people were also dumb enough to believe Obama was a Muslim terrorists, so I suppose a Turkey is just as believable. They do look kinda shady.

      1. Bruce, normally I would agree, but with Trump being Trump, this sounds like something he would do just to make the people who hate liberals happy.

        1. I agree that even the most insane things report about his actions pauses the most rational person to question, could this be real? I have to admit I had to read it a couple times to determine if it was fact or “alternative” god help us it’s going to be a long four years

      1. Stop with the libtard crap. Yes, it’s easily recognizable satire. But if “libtard is the finest retort you can muster, you’re either stupid or lazy. Perhaps both.

      2. Stop with the libtard crap. Yes, it’s easily recognizable satire. But if “libtard” is the finest retort you can muster, you’re either stupid or lazy. Perhaps both.

    1. With actual Quotes in the article, most people believe it’s real! No disclaimers from this Honored journalist. But, since it’s about Trump and he is illegitable scum, no one cares or questions all the lies and hate. Just keep it building, huh? See Catherine above. She believes it.

  1. As usual trump is waste of space murdering bastard no bloody wonder your so call wife ( call girl) walks around so miserable, you are a misogynistic bastard who voted you in has got lots to answer for under you sick people wont get medical treatment and some will starve you don’t have any idea what it is to go without you bastard of all bastards well don’t worry you won’t be in the White House long hopefully someone will shoot you , you are one big fat lying pig

    1. Someone needs to report your ass to the CIA you fat whore. Calling President Trumps wife a call girl, sounds like your UGLY AND JEALOUS, then wanting someone to shoot the President of the United States of America, your one sick bitch, then you call him a murdering bastard, who has he EVER murdered? Shut your fucking cock sucker and crawl back under your rock.

      1. Actually, that would be the Dept of the Treasury, Secret Service Division, and secondarily the FBI. The CIA is the foreign intelligence service.

    2. Wow. Wishfully hoping the president gets assassinated? Are you serious? Like it or not, he’s the president. Deal with it. Y’all think Trump is so terrible yet you guys are the only ones spewing hatred. Wtf is wrong with you? This is SATIRE by the way. You’re a POS.

    3. You are one piece of wasted flesh, a phony person who can’t accept other people’s opinions or the results from a rigged Democrat election that backfired. Your Obama , Hillary, Comey, Lynch and many more crooked thieves are finally being revealed and you want to call this President names, funny how you want him to be asasinated , probably because all your cover-ups are being unraveled. What you going to wish for when the truth reveals you are full of shit. I can’t wait, oh enjoy our President Trump for the next eight years I surely will.

  2. All but 5 of the 16 turkeys are deceased. . . Further investigation shows that the 11 deceased turkeys were suffering from life threatening illnesses and under the provisions of the “Affordable Care Act”, a.k.a “Obamacare”, they died while waiting to see a doctor chosen by Obama bin Lyin’s Barackracy.

  3. Obviously a piss poor attempt at fake news! Too bad it’s an even lesser Attempt at comedy, lol, complete and utter FAIL! Maybe r.hobbs should get a job with the outgoing obama admin, that would be Much more productive than This pitiful attempt at ‘writing’!

  4. This is hilarious. Does anyone have a sense of humor. I hope these angry peoples never read The Onion. Haha. Too dumb to understand humor!

  5. This is one of the funniest things I have ever read.

    Even funnier are the hoopleheads that think this really happened.

    Well played Mr Hobbus.

  6. What an A**h***!!! Anyone still standing behind him? Almost every day now I read of those who are Abandoning Ship in larger and larger numbers. And those are just the ones that are being reported.

  7. The comments are almost as amusing as the article. How can you not immediately know this is satire. Breathe people, laugh a little….

  8. Funny…but exactly what you expect from a guy who is probably sitting in his mom’s basement in his underwear waiting for someone to give him his trophy.

  9. Trump is the most disgusting piece of sheet I ever heard of. So racist against our President that he murders turkeys? Omg ridiculous and SAD! Can’t say I’m surprised though. He is psychotic! God help us!!!

  10. Gotta Love “Alternative Facts” Right? It’s Satire People (a joke). No turkeys are going to be harmed, go back to your safe place with your comfort dog

  11. First, Great article! He did make the assumption that people could recognize humor/satire and the comments show that was not 100%.

    The fact that even a few believed that Trump would do such a thing is “Trump Derangement Syndrom” (TDS) that I now believe is an actual mental health condition.

    It is like when the press calls for Voter Fraud to be investigated, then Trump does it then they freak out and say he is deranged for doing what they ask!

    I as a Trump supporter going back over a year I love watching it, they all now have to grow up (I am a Dad to 8 kids) it is like a baby having temper tantrums!

  12. Sad thing is… there are so many stupid people out there that actually think this dumbass story is true. You people are pathetic. The idiot author and the people who believe this garbage. Find something useful to do instead of stirring up more fake news.

    1. This is exactly how Trump got elected you know…except the news stories put out about Hillary were put out there to intentionally mislead people. This is a satire piece that is intended to make people laugh, which it did successfully. It’s not “fake news” because it’s not “news,” it’s comedy. If someone can’t decipher satire from news, then they need to look into that problem and get it figured out. It’s not the author’s fault or problem. Obviously there are way too many people in this country who believe fake news though, considering the election result. So you’re right about how pathetic it is to believe things without actually doing and little research first.

  13. I cannot believe how childish this and several other things happening are.
    Kill pardoned turkeys??? my word. Go do some real work. Shows a sign of jealousy if you ask me.

    I was learning to appreciate Trumps work ethic, but now? Ridiculous.

  14. Shouldn’t they have executed Chelsea Manning! who after turning into a woman to help her cause to get out of prison, just badmouthed the man who pardoned her! And Obama called her something like traitor of the worst sort, I forget. But that’s what you get Obama for pardoning a traitor!

  15. oh good god. First this story is beyond funny. Second the libs on here that think this is even anything other then a joke are pathetic. Unfortunately for tbe rest of us these idiots vote and reproduce.

  16. Pardoning a Turkey is a White House Tradition!!! Now he has jacked that up too!! Come on! Someone has to stop this idiot! And to the Republican Senators and Congressmen what does that say about you??? Its really sad that this country sits back and let’s this old spoiled kid do anything he wants!! The NEW BULLY IN SCHOOL###

  17. Why??? Of millions of turkeys killed every year, why couldn’t he let these beautiful innocent beings live? This man is trash in every sense

  18. JHFC! The people that believe this is real are the same people that wanted Shrillary to be our next President.

    Which explains a few things, come to think of it.

  19. This is a ridiculous practice. They just get another turkey. How much does it cost per day to keep these “turkeys”? Question-why didn’t trump give these turkeys to families that need some meat on their table?

  20. this has nothing to do with these politics so what if its about thanksgiving i hate everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  21. It’s amazing how many people go to the trouble of leaving a comment about how mad they are at Trump for this, but are too lazy to read the comments to figure out that it’s a SATIRE STORY. Lazy people not bothering to look up basic facts is the reason that asshole got elected. Now a lot of the same people finger-pointing about the fake Hillary stories are doing the EXACT same thing. Learn how to tell the difference between satire and truth and get off your ass and actually do your own research when you’re confronted with a fake story! Damn, people are just getting more and more ridiculous.
    Btw, the story was hilarious. If you’re complaining about it, it’s probably because you feel stupid for having initially believed it. Or because you’re a Trump crazy who is butt hurt about someone picking on your manbaby fake pres. Get over it.

  22. A good joke of Satire is often lost on people
    This could be party is the reason…

    7% if Adults think chocolate milk comes from Brown cows…

  23. This truly shows how incompetent Trump is! He must be impeached A.S.A.P. Our Nation should not be in the hands of someone like this.

  24. 45 thinks we will forget about President Obama when his only job is to systematically eradicate all of his accomplishment. THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I do not think republicans can read or they are just too STUPID TO REALIZE HOW THE REPUBLICANS ARE BALANCING THE BUDGET ON THE BACK OF MIDDLE CLASS AND POOR PEOPLE. Yes people your votes are enabling the Republican to contract Medicare out and take the thing we have worked so hard for, OUR SOCIAL.SECURITY
    Is this what the voting republicans want? If not you need to get out and vote. Vote in all elections held in your town whether it is judges, midterm elections for mayors, governor’s. The only WAY to win is to get out and vote, FLORIDA AT THIS MOMENT IS HAVING A VERY TIGHT RACE. FLORIDIANS DO NOT BUY THE USELESS INFORMATION BIG MONEY IS PUTTING OUT. VOTE FOR WHATEVER IS GOOD FOR YOU. Everyone’s vote is important

  25. Really your a dumbass jealous ass child grow up and be a man oh ya shut the fup get out of the tv and do your job if you wish to keep it and stop trying to undo what a great president had done dam

  26. This is pure stupidity to do to turkeys!!! Where does he come up with his thoughts to kill turkeys???
    Most Presidents have better things to do. MYbe this is fake news.

  27. Wow. I am so glad he has his priorities straight. I was starting to get worried that he was focusing on trivial matters and traditions.

  28. This is hilarious! I have to say,I agree with the lady that said do your research before you just believe what you read. Also, remember the ol’ line; it’s got to be true, I read it on Facebook. Lol

  29. I wish that we could all get along.
    Turkeys killed? Really?
    We should be talking about important meaningful things like the problem of Violins in America.

  30. The reason people are spending so much time on this topic is because #45 isn’t doing anything worth talking about. Real, satire, fake news, or alternative facts it doesn’t matter because we are don’t have real leadership running this cou try. we have stooped to having a conversation about turkeys. So sad but all the devastation is country with all the devastation around the world so sad. Let’s try and focus on getting folks jobs so they can feed their families. Let’s have that discussion.

    Embarrassing leadership attempting to run the country.

  31. Is this story legit or what , it’s just so ridiculous to think that this is how this man is spending his time!!!

  32. This is absolutely ridiculious. Trump has so much hate towards Obama that he will destroy any thing connected to Obama for Trumps own pleasure Trump is the biggest Ass I have ever seen to destroy all that Mr. President Obama has done because of Trumps hate towards Mr. President Obama who I shall never forget and will remember as one of the Greatest Presidents in my 77 years.

  33. Oh…
    What a wonderful decision. These weak democrates let all suspects free and alive. If the firing squads don’t use the rifles, the NRA can’t pay the lobby in Washington. The families can’t afford the College where some attackers also want to use their rifles. And finally it’s bad, really bad for the economy. That’s not the way the USA can be great again.
    Undoing the pardon of this friend of animals, muslims, gays and even mexicans is a first step to proof that all promises come true.
    The wall to Mexico will be the next. And a wall and firing squads fit together since ages. And the NRA can sell bullets again. Much better than to export it to Syria.
    Perhaps you have some left over - so that Mrs. Merkel can correct the decision with the refugees here in Germany.

    Dirk from Hannover/Germany

  34. This man has become totally unhinged and is completely unfit to lead the greatest country on earth. If this is part of his agenda, get rid of him. I guess since his healthcare bill is a disaster and his racist muslim ban is a disaster and his wall is a disaster and his ridiculous budget is a total
    disgrace along with his complicity with Russia. If this is his best shot at governance, the idiot has to go, along with his henchmen Ryan, McConnell the rest of the alt right dip shits

  35. Trump you are just a jerk. With all that is going on (I. E. USS Fitzgerald ) you’re worried about harmless turkies? I sure wish you would get a grip.

  36. This man is crazy. His attempts to erase what President Obama did cannot remove the love and respect that the peoples’ hearts have for Mr. Obama. 45 should get a clue. The more hate he displays for President Obama, the more the people admire President Obama and his grace and kindness. He will always be more and better than 45. Get that through that big head, 45.

  37. You people who thing this is real are morons and are the problem with fake news. How is it, that you do not understand satire! SMH! Bawhahahahaha.

  38. I believe pardoned turkeys do not live very long as they become very large and their heart cannot support their weight. It is not a pretty death nor is it instantaneous like the normal method.

  39. This entire ‘turkeygate” debacle has been weighing on the soul of the USA for years. I am so relieved that President Trump, in a moment of highest regard for the good people of this country, has finally corrected and laid to rest this nightmare.

  40. I sit here, having read this news story, I sit here dumbfounded, gobsmacked, stunned, in utter disbelief. What new madness is next, I wonder.

  41. With all the critical issues before our President, using executive power to kill turkeys that were pardoned by the previous president is a prime example of President Trumps mentality. How can anyone not see what is going on? Absolutely astonishing!!

  42. Is this serious or a spoof? If it is serious - and there is so much nonsense coming out of Trump it may be true. If so, it is simply one turkey seeking the death of other turkeys.

  43. I may never eat turkey again. Chik-fil-A could make those turkeys famous with a Thanksgiving ad campaign! I just hope I get my cut of the profits for coming up with the brilliant idea. #eatmorechicken

  44. He’s determined to undo everything that Obama accomplished. Even if he has to destroy our country in doing so. I guess he just can’t admit that this Black American man, Barack Obama was the best there ever was to lead this country.

  45. I know this is satire, but many of you are saying how funny it is. Really?? Seriously? You poor bitches and bastards… you all must lead really boring lives to be so amused at something so damn stupid.

  46. What the heck people!! This is political satire!! The author is making fun of trumps jealously of President Obama. Trump is not worthy of the sweat that rolls off President Obama, and it makes trump crazy with jealousy!

  47. This is totally demented. But what else could you expect from Trump. It wouldn’t surprise me if he is there for the “executions” & scream “You’re fired” BANG!!!!

  48. it is sad what politics can make a person/i am sure because it was President Obama who pardoned those creatures of God and who Trump doesn’t like made this ridiculous decision/God help him please /

  49. I think this very disturbing and that Donald Trump is Out of his mind. Maybe his sons will do the euxecutions in keeping with their hunting instincts. Sick sick sickWhat is wrong with that man!

  50. Whatever Pres. Trump does to ridicule Pres. Obama’s decisions, this will only increase Obama’s star as a one of the most appreciated presidents in the history of the USA. Doesn’t the man realise that he is making a perfect fool of himself! Wonder when he will be impeached, because I can’t imagine that the American people will be able or willing to accept the ridicule that this president is causing on America!

  51. Hurry ship those birds to a nature sanctuary. Paint them PINK call them hybrid flamingos born & breed in the USA!!!!

    SERIOUSLY IS THIS THE TYPE OF THING PRESIDENT TRUMP should be addressing at this time with fallen SAILORS to be recognized & their families for the sacrifice they made for our already GREAT NATION!

    Besides PRESIDENT TRUMP should have his own creature to PARDON since he’s such a lame duck himself. PARDON DUCKS or BETTER YET FOXES since that’s what his toupee looks like!

  52. Satire. That means it’s not real. It’s making fun of the Trump Administration AND the Obama Administration. Everyone just calm down.

  53. Another stupid decision by our POTUS. were these turkeys really bothering him? Another tradition thrown to the wind. So sad.
    I think POTUS should be thrown out too another Turkey we don’t need

  54. I hope Trump gets impeached soon. I’m not going to be quiet while he takes away money from the poor. Says the ugliest things. Degrades minorities. Moves unqualified people into positions of power. We had separation of church and state. We need separation of corporation and state. Corporations run cities they build towns, look at Trump look how ugly he is, people rely on money to survive. We as a people suffer because of this greed. It inadvertently causes crimes. This is fucked up and it’s because of people like him. A greedy selfish bastard is president. I’ll fight this guy every step of the way. Hes selfish, self serving and has no business in public office. Fancy trips to resorts, conducting business in hotels. That’s our tax dollars used to serve his business interests. We need a president that is for helping our youth our weary our poor our criminals our mentally ill someone who is committed to the happiness and well-being of all our citizens. this guy is out for Number one, his and only his. If he likes you and you like him your good. Selfish people like that have no place in public office. America is for the people all people. The dudes got a puny, tiny heart of muck.

  55. For those who think this is real and worry about taking care of the turkey Obama pardoned, I would imagine in the real world they are taken back to the turkey farm, butchered and sold. The turkey farms have no use for a turkey that is just eating food and doing nothing. Once they get passed prime they are dead, one way or another

  56. Geez zy! Unless you are vegan or a vegitarian, or what ever floats a persons boat, those turkeys could be dressed out and feed a lot of homeless people, at the soup kitchens. I don’t see any pardon for all the other animals and poultry that are killed daily for supply and demand. That’s what farmers do. They grow food to make their money to live. Be it vegetables, or Daisy the Cow!
    They talk about obesity in ourselves, and our children. You feed these animals all this crap to make the animals bigger so they will feed more. We eat the meat from those animals. What will those chemicals do to us? It’s second hand, about like smoking! Now our society is getting bodily BIGGER! So don’t let anyone give you that “Oh those poor birds!” crap! Cause when they leave from this meeting, they will be going to dinner provided by Daisy!

  57. This came up on my Facebook feed & practically all the reactions are of laughing emoji’s. Why is it Fucking funny?! It’s NOT! trump should be Fucking ashamed of his disgusting self. He’s a poor excuse of a human being & if he doesn’t want to be president, just Fucking resign. Stop putting us through Hell to get yourself impeached. He didn’t want to be president in the first place. Impeachment is coming you SOB!

    1. The article is a joke! It’s not real, it was written for the lol. If you would believe this I seriously question your critical thinking skills, also it worries me you might actually vote.

  58. Are you bloody joking ?? For gods sake let the poor turkeys live and die of nstural causes. I thought I’d heard enough stupidity from Trump but this is tops the cake

  59. Some dumb shits are going to believe this dribble. You need a disclaimer at the end for the intellectually impaired Trump supporters.

  60. That’s about the stupidest thing I’ve seen on Facebook.Doesn’t that stupid fucker have more important things to do like run the Fucking Country. Presidents have been pardening turkys since Washington was elected. And people wonder why I didn’t vote for him. What a jerkoff.

  61. Not eating turkey anymore it could be cheese or one of the others this has got to stop this is in Turkeymane what is he thinking of they could be double spies with important information to share. I have to say we need a turkey investigation this cannot go on.Trump is so cruel we need to LOCK HIM UP.

  62. You must be getting desperate to disseminate negative publicity. I didn’t support Obama and I don’t support President Trump For Pete’s sake I wish all the news media country would stop sewing division and strife,and I do mean all news media. Stop before this country is brought to its knees because we are so consumed by winning every argument, getting our own way that we don’t see an outside attack coming until it’s too late. Even worse we are giving our politicians more power to do as they please. What if someone manages to get elected that wants it all. Have you the nerve to publish this post?

  63. The comments started funny, with people adding their own satire to the OBVIOUSLY satirical article (turkeys with ties to ISIS…) and then it got boring with the name calling…

  64. Killing of those birds will be in
    Violation of Articles 2 , the right to life
    and 8the right to enjoy family life

    Infact also Article 5 , right to
    Protection and security
    15 no government has right to imprison any one unless that person is a threat to security

  65. Why is Trump being so cruel and unfeeling? This seems to be the example of his whole presidency. What an A1 jerk!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!